Filthy Money

Does it matter where we gamble
does it say something?
the fact of the
matter

the roll of the dice

Money there to be taken
or lost ~ time
participation is optional
reserved for capital

we all die:
few choose their moments
or their smiles.

The Dead

Putting away dishes
I start to cry
It's been along time
desire and guilt:

obfuscate
loss


Like aging,
love and death getsless painful
all the time


I miss Matt
I miss Robert
I miss Will
I miss my Daddy,

Their here

 maybe too close
 
Where can they go ?

Same for Her
I guess that makes it alright
Sometimes that's all 
 
Just OK . . .

Image on the road to a fantasy

On The Road

National Security

Victory on the war on drugs? Let's redefine it, Lets roll it into Nafta ~ Nationalize it. It Practically the only thing propping up the dollar, besides mad~paper is Drugs, yet the government refuses to tax, instead like most big corporate operations, we subsidze it with a prison system, enforcemnet, justice and lives. It's so obsene you know the world is mad.And , there are a hell of allot of people living (and dying) off the income from it. It's almost as big as porn. . . Or the arms business. . .How about a bandwidth tax on porn? From Langley to Columbia, We are complacent and understand the business. If radical change is to happen for the benefit of al. Lets just froget proabition, for good this time.

Meanderings

Here to work? be depressed? I have no idea. Would like to get out more, even alone. Also see otherPeople widen my social life, yet I think I’m picky. . . do others like me, etc. Can I hang out with different people, will they care? What do I care, how much of my depression is coming to terms with life, that I live in a world of rage, starvation , murder, rape, safety, beauty, excess, indulgence, nirvana and bliss. Heaven and Hell all right here on our home, Earth. This has always been my primary predicament, to be in the world and appreciate the reality and privilege and beauty horror and sublime indulgence of leisure. And while the fall of world empire takes years,the "tipping point" is long past. What we do now is not to criticize or blame, but appriciate the beauty and grace that is lent us in these final eons to enjoy. For each moment, when savored in silence does indead feel like years.