Stories from my trip: So happy to be back here in Venwoude again, Beauty of the land, smiles, & laughter old friends reunited many sweet conversations, just few words of love meeting itself. Saw Nynke for a moment, she is so beautiful, dropping off her sister Dotty who also is such a joy. Hung out and chatted, but felt both tiered and aware of this deep wanting that was just starting to come home, so subtly, so long in my body. Took a nap, so jet-lagged but happy in the sensation and happy with it.
The Invitation to notice what/how "it" (the personality habits) show up or reveal themselves in silence, and sensation in the body. i begin to glimpse how shut down awareness of my emotional body is. . .. the opportunity to see these habits appear in awareness, in the body, and release the story of them being mine, personal or about me.
In the past pain was the most familiar, yet love or enjoyment was always present underneath every breath. The old (seemingly) personal habits of recycling trauma, yet, here, now it seems as i can sit with it in subtle gentleness, letting go of all "my" identity & beliefs.
This sweet surrender, the enjoying of the unfolding moment may be conceptualized in thought, speech or imagination, but only when gently embodied, kinetically is it actually realized as totally impersonal. And from there is no preference, just that.
The "I" unconsciously views others as threats and instinctively, unconsciously, contraction arises and then thought steps in to explain, help and solve a problem that is in root, merely a movement that can, eventually, if we are fortunate, be seen as an expression of the sympathetic neural system, human, but never personal, and likely, to not be of use or benefit to self or humanity.
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