I've been reflecting on not having children recently. I've been generally happy with the situation most of my life with a few periods of intoxication with the idea. It only happens in the first few months of a new relationship, and then it's a consistent fantasy that brings pleasure. Yet a few months or years later I find myself both relieved and grateful I'm apparently shooting blanks.
Some of my best friends are parents, breeder is somewhat pejorative, yet it's clear that while busy and engaged with activity, they are often far less available for reflection and free time than myself.
Yet for me the issue that decided the issue was not happiness but reason. Or what passed for it when I was a child. When I was an adolescent in the early 70's I became acutely aware of the diminishing open space on the planet & concurrent death to every other species on the planet, which I actually feel responsible for and deeply connected with.
As well as increasing pollution and strife for economic resources. All of these issues were (and remain) directly tied to population growth. I had never heard of Gandhi at the time but knew that this was one thing I could do to make the world better, not replicate. I think the decisions we make when young are often far more reflective of our souls desire and purpose (if such a thing exists), than the decisions, free or forced upon us, as adults.
So for me, the issue as a nascent environmentalist was clear doesn't replicate. I have never found any argument that diminishes the environmental degradation that population growth entails. This also begs the question of why economic models are always based on growth. Could we not model a society and economy based on sustainability rather than lust for material objects and transitory experiences? I don't know, I'm not doing so well in that department myself (lust and transitory experiences) I crave pastry and chocolate and caffeine lately, still appreciate beauty and quiet and attention. I don't think this is bad per say, what I think is it's interesting and useful to consider the costs and implications of our desires and if and how desire affects choice (again, if such a thing exists).
2 comments:
I agree with you about the whole population growth aspect; but what about those children who are already born? I wonder sometimes (for myself) whether it is fear of responsibility, loss of freedom, some sort of selfishness - you know, my life, my time, my plans - that keeps me wary of adoption.
I mean, if there is a sense of responsibility towards this earth, this planet - which leads to a choice of not adding to the population; shouldn't the responsibility extend towards taking care - in whatever way we can - of what already exists?
If I have the means, the health, the sensibility ?
But then, there's the question of desire..
I don't think I would make a good parent unless I truely desired it; so if I adopted out of some sense of 'wanting to do good' that wouldn't necessarily be a good start... or would it?
It's confusing.
Anyway, needed to share that.
Of course, your logic and love is impeccable, and supports my argument for the return of the matriarchy, as much as i might dislike some limits.
XOXOXO
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