Only Peace

Only Peace

Within this storm of emotion

There is a quiet center

only I can’t find it always

it’s sometimes enough

to know it is there

amidst the chaos of feeling

swiftly the falcon’s gyere

as the beast slouches along

Trying too hard,

I fall away

from what is

That I Love,

not because I am good,

or even that it is true,

well,

maybe,

because it’s true

And I need that

In this storm

of illusion

Another Step

Another Step

This dawn endlessly breaking across the world

Apparently discrete moments, connected endlessly

Who gives? What receives? What is Aware of this movement?

Prayers offered and received

The dreaming of splintered god

Breathing

Inspired

Released

Trying to hard to be pretty

I endin a mess. Just like everyone I judge

Phony, full of shit. dishonest

I’m just as fucked up as the rest;

The old man, the generals and greedy petty fools I despise

Or pretend to love as myself

Well maybe that’s real enough

I’m confused, just like the rest of us

Living here with the dying that go’s on and on

Secretly hoping for some new life

that redeams this experience

Wanting other people or myself to be different is hell.

Yet difficult to live in surrender. I constantly want to help or change what is.

Often I blame myself for wanting it to be different. This is yet another form or strategy of the mind to help my “spiritual awakening” My mind allies itself with my goal; to have a better experience than I am having. The result is frustration and contempt.

This morning I drempt of effort-ing. Sometimes others were assisting me and there was a feeling of being supported. The dreams shifted to more solitary work and there were unknown adversaries and dangers as well as dis-ease in the dreams. I ended up trying to deliver something to suspicious people who did not accept the delivery before the dream ended.

In none of the dreams was there any clear completion or attainment.

Being in relationship seems to be predicated upon my relationship with myself. If my sense of grounding is absent then I am going to be problematic in my relating.


So the question or Challenge is:

How do I embrace my “Shadow”?

Fist, I can only do it now.

Second it is a practice or a process of

Looking at what I resent, repress and avoid

Third, It is embracing what I Despise, Judge or have Contempt for.

Really that is it. I just have to hang in here one day at a time,

Day after day with what is both beautiful and horrific

Until all preferences loose any belief.

One moment, one sensation, one thought and blessing at a time.

I am seeing

How I treat others,

To be what we want,

Is exactly how i treat myself,

(As well as others)

Rather than seeing

What is happening,

Is not to be "helped"

By beating myself.

No matter what.

Dr. King

I have been to the mountaintop

Truly I was born there

We all were.

In the true light

Of being

We are

Connected

A Present

Every moment; A present waiting for you

Accept it?

Without Surrender

experience it’s wonder

Again,

Now,

You are offered another

What is this unwrapping you?

Your thoughts, hopes and dreams,

Even cherished beliefs given

(Surrendered) to this present

All lies, especially the most dear,

That yours,

Or mine

Is a separate life.