Dark Matter

There is some field of energy that we are missing in our studies of the physical sciences of the exchange of energy form and meaning. What if the only consistent measuring device is awareness itself? And if there is no fixed moral perspective then what is measured? Than merely a symptomatic lack of lack of response to the apocalypse. It's like Joe Strummer said, if Hitler flew in today, they'd send him a limousine anyway.

 

I'm trying to be grateful for my own economic meltdown that it has taken so long, and may even have some minor reprieves, but undoubtedly, the loss has been going on for years. Every year I grow a little closer to poverty, to reality. To that which is the backdrop of most of life on the planet. Maybe I can learn to look back at the beauty and appreciate it now. That's the very best I can hope for. It's a way of enjoying the present while embracing the experience of coherent story of grace in the Fall.

 

All the while not pretending, that all that is happening in the world, is not. I have never been in denial of the situation, only to ready to question meaning, values and ends. . .  That all those visits to the ocean, trying to vacation, I was fully aware of the vanishing ecosystems. . . collapsing as I watched, frolicking with the wild dolphins in Palau on my fortieth birthday, trying too hard to grasp what is always just out of reach in our world, in our souls.

 

The horror and the beauty simultaneously interacting, destroying if not creating each other, but how not ? In some time and space. For here now: in Afghanistan, the Congo, the middle east, our brothers, Fathers and children hate kill and suffer rape while we consume, medicate and dither as the world burns and we pretend to care?

 

Is every shallow tea party conservative actually right when they say ( insert stupid comment) dismissing the true horror: That Violence is a deeply gratifying in perverse semi sexual satisfaction mutilation and torture that is so endemic in the male global psyche. It is men and the masculine alone? who/which addictively and obsessively repeats this self traumatizing pattern?

 

Destroying the feminine and repeating the fall from heaven as well as the experience of birth, individuation, awakening to the horror of the human condition, and for some, a loving gesture in the face of it, in whatever way we briefly rage against the machine, we do live, and challenge the apparently entropic decay of humanity until the last days.

 

Eventually we all find the last breath, the last tree, and the last sunrise in each of our lives. What we leave behind, and who we touch, we will never truly guess, for so much of perception is lost in this mess. And yet the lucky and the lost of us in the end, find rest.