I don’t know,
I think it’s a new year
For someone, somewhere, perhaps a whole tribe or nation
This mental illness, depression, anger and self-recrimination
I just hurt. I’m tired of it. I miss her. All the time knowing
There were two sides to the pattern, it takes two to dance.
And I miss having my love hate partner, no moon to my sun
I walk the sky and the earth alone, just watching,
Holding my vow of silence to not pursue her.
Writing is a salvation. As well as sitting and crying
Talking to friends, knowing I am not the only one alone
Or sad, grasping at what small beautiful gems of joy
And brilliance I find throughout the day
Now I find myself going to work and the anxiety
And desperation of doing a good job and not
Breaking down in front of strangers
Will fill my day, and I am grateful for this.Next breath
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